Julie Quantum Leaps

This is long, but all my concert stories are. You should be used to it and you now have fair warning.

I turned into the Ste. Michelle Winery entrance and drove past a large sign stating “NO CAMERAS OR RECORDING DEVICES”. I smiled to myself and drove on, getting a prime parking spot. Actually, any parking inside the gates I considered prime, since last year we had to park a mile or so down the road, and in my concert heels, it gets a little painful.

I slipped my credit card and driver’s license into one pocket, my cell phone into another, my keys into another and my new slim sleek 1/2″ thick concert camera down my jeans and I was set to go. No purse, bag or backpack for me. Just the clothes on my back, as it were.

I thought Nate, my partner-in-crime-in-all-things-concert, would be waiting for me at the entrance, since we had spoken on the phone and she said she was already there. So I called her and discovered that she was at the entrance on the very opposite end with tons of other people in big long lines.

“Lines? No lines here.” I told her.So she hustled over to my side. I couldn’t get in till she did, since she had my ticket.

The three police officers didn’t blink twice at me, since I had no bag for them to look through.

I was happy and relieved to have made it through with my camera, but it was more for the challenge of getting it through than actually *using* it. I snuck a camera in one year when Chris was playing at the Pier, but let me tell you something. When you’re 6 feet from the stage, and there are security lined up every 10 feet or so along the stage facing out, you don’t get much of an opportunity to slip it out and click.

The first thing we do is visit our seats. We bought reserved seating tickets this year. Last year we sat on the lawn off to the side and watched as the people in the roped off area were the only ones that got to go up to the stage.

Row J. Damn. That’s 10 rows back. We start at the middle aisle and I start walking down the row, looking for seats 15 & 16. The space between rows was miniscule. I had to walk sideways, as if there were already people sitting with their knees sticking out. UGH! How are we going to make our way OUT of here and up to the stage??

I find our seats and point them out to Nate, making the thumbs up sign.

We’re almost on the outside aisle. Only 1 seat really would be an issue getting past. That’s doable. Yay.

We get stamped and go buy food and a bottle of wine and find a nice spot on the grass to eat, though with a camera down my jeans, it made it a little hard to bend enough to sit. I adjusted it and was ok. Nate told me not to play with myself out in public. Not that I would know what it feels like, since I don’t have the proper “equipment” but it did feel rather like I was… adjusting a… male protrusion.

Ten minutes before the show is supposed to start, we pre-pee. The last thing we want to do is have to get up and walk out DURING the concert. You miss songs and besides that, Chris will point you out from onstage and say things to you. Seen it happen. Don’t want it to happen to me.

After standing in a fairly long line, we arrive at one end of a row of porta-potties, only to discover, there is a very short line at the other end. And never mind that there are all kinds of empty ones that have the “in use” sign showing.

We make it to our seats just in time and the opening act starts. I forget his name, but it was some blues singer. He wasn’t bad but we talked during most of it. I was wondering why we were doing that, when it occured to me that his music made me feel like I was at a bar with a band playing blues in the background.

He finishes and exits the stage. I turn to the guy on my right. Luckily he’s not a large person, nor does he have long legs that would be a hindrance to us slipping out. I asked him if he and his girl planned on going on to the stage when Chris lets people come up. He had no clue about the drill. This was his first time. So I told him what the deal was and he was all for that. Good deal. Now if I can just help him along before the time comes, so he can either get up and go fast or get the hell out of our way! There will be no time for hesitation.

Shit! I have to pee again. I tell Nate and while I’m putting on my shoes, she looks over and says “Go! There’s no line!” So off I rush.

Whoa! No line? Ha! The damn line winds halfway across the back, so I rush to find my place in it and pull out my cellphone and call Nate. “Umm…look way behind you. See the line?” I’m cracking up at the ridiculousness of it all, when she tells me there’s only about 4 people in line at the other end. After telling her you’re not supposed to go in on that end, it doesn’t take much for her to convince me to go for it anyway. Her last words to me are “be brave”.

It was a little intimidating rounding the corner to the row and being the ONLY one at the wrong end, with a huge line of people at the right end staring at me. One lady comes out of a stall and looks at me and says nicely “Oh hun, you need to go stand in the line back there.”

I looked a little confused and said “Really? There was a line at this end earlier…”

She was a little surprised and said that when she tried it earlier, they gave her the evil eye. I laughed and said I could handle the evil eye. She laughed too as she walked off. Another woman came out and yelled up at the line that there were alllllll kinds of stalls open (like earlier, just mislabeled), so I tried the closest one to me that said “in use” and it opened right up! Phew!

I made my way back to my seat in time. I watched security go talk to people every once in awhile. They were using cameras. Sitting where we are, I feel way too vulnerable to attempt to use mine. That’s ok. It’s safely tucked away within easy reach. I had also tucked my tshirts (one I bought and one I brought) into my jeans, front and back, loincloth style. Though apparantly with the styel of my halter over the top, it looked more like a bustle. I didn’t really care what it looked like. I didn’t have to hold onto them when we got up to the stage.

“IIIIIIIIIII’m an original American boy…” Chris has taken the stage. Wooooohooooo!!! He’s wearing a turquoise suit with some well-placed rhinestones and his voice is, as always, beautiful. A few songs in, a girl from a couple rows behind us, walks up to the stage. I wait for security to head her off at the pass, but they don’t. She goes all the way up and hands a rose to Chris. He smiles and as she’s walking away says “Hey it’s still daylight, I can watch and see where you’re sitting.”

A few songs more and Chris takes a cordless mic and does his usual deal where he goes out into the audience. All the times I’ve seen him do this he pretty much runs. This time though, he walked, due in part to the tempo of the song he was playing. He made his way to the rose girl and kissed her. Lucky girl!

He winds through the back singing, and occasionally yelling up to the band. “Hey Hershel?”

“Yeah?”

“We should move back here. It’s a whole different world back here”

Once Chris gets back up onstage, Scotty, the keyboard player is still in the audience taking a swig out of someone’s wine bottle. When he makes his way onto the stage, Chris announces that Scotty “used” to be in the band…

They play a few more songs, and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself, but alert to any sign that we can head up to the stage. I’m a little disturbed because not only do we have to get the newbies next to us to get out of the way and make our way up 10 rows of people but now there was a wheelchair blocking half the aisle in the front row. Arrrgghh.

Chris is now crooning out a slow song. Ah. Here’s a sign. There are a few couples up in front of the stage slow-dancing. Nate and I contemplate doing the couple thing but we choose to wait. There are other options. We’d rather not slow-dance with each other.

Oh jesus! The wheelchair is now SIDEWAYS! How in the hell are we going to get past him in a hurry??

The slow dance song ends and I reach for my water bottle anticipating Chris’ next instructions as the next song starts and I am correct. He tells us all to come down in front of the stage. I touch the newbie’s knee as I tell them to “Go!” and fly past them, down the aisle and around the wheelchair.

I check to make sure Nate is with me and realize I’m AT THE STAGE. As in nobody is in front of me. Nate got slowed up a little by the wheelchair but makes her way next to me. Technically, the girl with the rose is in front of me but we are next to the stairs and Chris is on the other side of the stairs, so I have a totally unobstructed view of him

The sound up here leaves something to be desired, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Like I mentioned earlier, at previous shows, there have been security lining the stage. Tonight, there are only security on either side of the stage. None in the middle. I do however watch people whip out a camera or even a cell phone and hold it up, aiming, only to have security swoop in and tell them to put it away. None were confiscated though.

After making sure no security are close and I’m not in any of their lines of vision, I reach down my jeans and pull my wonderful concert cam out. Did I mention how much I love this thing? Anyway, not wanting to draw attention to myself, or said camera, I choose not to look through the viewfinder, or I should say the LCD screen on the back.

Instead, I hold the camera in front of my stomach and tip it at an angle I think will capture the right thing and take my chances.

And I don’t do a half-bad job of it.

Damn I’m good. Remember, no zoom lens here, even though there is an optical zoom function on the camera. Why would I need to use that? To get a close-up of a sequin for god’s sake??

Chris noticed that I was taking pics and he got right smack in front of me. We’re talking INCHES from me. His pants were nearly touching my face. (hee… what a great line) I had to look straight up to see him, and he was posing for me! My camera is a little slow on the draw, and I caught him as he turned around. I SWEAR I didn’t do this on purpose!

Nor this one! But it’s a great shot!

And off comes the jacket

Chris is telling one of his stories. He tells the funniest damn stories. Even just his little comments are a crack-up. The first of his concerts I went to 4 years ago, he told a story of the new band member from Cuba swimming all the way here. You had to be there but it was long and fucking hilarious!

He played to my camera a few times. Yeahhh!!

Too quickly he’s done. He turns his guitar around and holds it up so we can see the letters on the back that say “thanks!” and they exit the stage.

When he comes out for the encore, he comes out in his infamous mirror suit. He looks like a tall thin disco ball. In fact, a couple years ago, he stood on this spinning platform thing and spun like a disco ball too. Last year I tried to take pics with my cell phone of him in the suit and the light catches it so much, all I got was like looking into a lighbulb. This year, however, I score! It is a cooler thing to see from a distance with the lights catching it and reflecting all sparkley. But like I said, I wouldn’t trade this spot for the world.

Especially, while he was singing Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing. I was really rocking out to this one, and during the really rocking out part of the song, Chris looked straight at me, pointed and sang. Now I know, I know. “Are you sure he was pointing at you? He could’ve been pointing at someone else.” I know that deal. Been there, done that. Even a few times during this very show tonight. There are times when I was sure he was looking at me while singing, but there’s always doubt, always other people around, so I do know that deal. THIS, was not that deal. There was nobody in front of me and this wasn’t a case of trying to figure out where his eyes were aimed. His arm, hand, finger, were aimed directly at me. If I hadn’t been so sure, I wouldn’t have extended my arms towards him, as if on either side of him and danced my little heart out to him like I did. Haha!

Oh my. **swoons, remembering it**

Ok, so here’s the only annoying part of that, not that I really care, but still. I think it was when the encore started, this drunk girl had made her way to the steps and was standing on the bottom one and trying to reach up to the stage, so she was totally getting in Nate’s way.

After my little interlude with Chris **drools again**, I turned to Nate saying “Did you see that??? Oh my goddddd.”

She looked at me blankly. Obviously she hadn’t. Damn drunk girl getting in the way.

Always during one song of the encore, a dozen or so young things are preselected to go up onstage with Chris and dance while he sings. Drunk girl actually made her way up from the steps, prompting security to come guard the steps for the rest of the show. Pictures would now be impossible to take. At least it was almost the end of the show.

Chris chose, as he always does, one cute young thing to interact with; ask her name and such, then he sings on and she kind of has the spotlight to dance. Drunk girl thought she could weasel her way up to Chris but that wasn’t going to happen. The funniest part was when the girls were all ushered offstage, drunk girl wanted to go back the way she came. After all, she had a prime spot. Security wasn’t about to let that happen.

All too soon, the show was over. They always are. Nate had to work early the next morning so she handed me her tshirt to get signed and dashed off.

After his concerts, Chris always does autographs, so as usual, I got in line. This time however, I took my time and got in late and at the end. There were about 10 people behind me. I called a friend to share my energy with and she asked if I would get her a tshirt signed also.

So now I had FOUR tshirts to be signed. Haha. When I finally got up there, the guy asked me if I had bought out the store. I don’t know what the deal was. Maybe the organizing guy was new? Maybe they’ve gotten lax? But the system didn’t seem to run quite so smoothly.

The first time I witnessed “the system” I was in awe. I still think they should patent it. How, I don’t know, but it’s so damn cool and efficient. There are tables in a row and the first people all stand at the table and put their items to be signed down on the table in front of them. The guy helps in this, getting the items lined up so all Chris has to do is sign. They then line up a row of people behind that row, and they wait. As soon as a person gets signed, they head off and the person behind them moves forward to the table. Once everyone in that second row has moved forward, they bring another row in, and it keeps it moving swiftly and smoothly.

This year honestly was a bit of a clusterfuck. I mentioned to the security guy that they had changed the system and he said they take their orders from the guy and that yeah it was different than it had been last year.

Oooooh! It’s finally my turn. With help from the guy I get my stuff on the table. Even here, it’s not quite the same. He doesn’t fold them so they fit, like in previous years.

All the waiting comes down to one moment. One moment where your brain stops working. He looks at me and says “I saw you out there”. I have no idea what I said. Something like “agahhuuhh” and “that was an awesome show”. OMG, Boring!! I should’ve said “I saw you too!” Ah, hindsight. He shook my hand and I watched, only barely aware of what he was signing. On the tshirt for my friend he signed his name and wrote “FRONT ROW!”. Perhaps because that one was on top. On Nate’s he drew a guitar. On mine he drew a heart, and on my recurring tshirt, my very first Chris Isaak tshirt, that I bring every year to have him sign, he drew a little heart and put ’07 CI” inside.

The other brilliant thing I said while he was signing, you know, while my brain was misfunctioning, was in a sweet shy way (yes I CAN be that way… even while I’m asking…) “can I have a hug?” Hey, give me a break, I’ve seen others do it before. He stands up after signing saying “you want a hug?” He turns to the guy to say something to him and I’m thinking ok… does he need to notify the guy when he’s going to hug someone?

“She needs a hug,” he says to the guy. Guy says oh, ok.

So the guy comes at me in hug position and… we hug. Ok, that was cute. I look to Chris, who’s signing the next person’s stuff, and he kind of chuckles and says “Don’t get me started, it would be memorable.”

**swoons at the thought of that**

I didn’t notice that he signed “FRONT ROW!” until I was out the gate a little. I don’t know if I actually would’ve asked, but I turned around to see if he was still signing and to maybe get “FRONT ROW!” put on one of my shirts.

He had left, but I did run into another fan that asked if I was at the show last year. She said she remembered my green sparkley top. She showed me a pic of her and Chris that she got signed. She apparantly went to Vegas and their tickets got messed up they were supposed to be better, so the 5 of them got to hang out with Chris for awhile before the show. Oh my god. I am not praying for ticket messups. Haha! (By the way, if you’re reading this, let me know if you want a few pics of you at the stage. You got in the way a few times! :-p )

So home I go. I can live with no hug. I got sung to. I can live without “FRONT ROW!” on my shirt. I got sung to. Hanging out with Chris though… damn. But I got sung to.

And my concert camera passes the test with flying colors! (and sparkles)